The Vampire Chronicles
- Interview with the Vampire: I like this book. Yes, Louis is a total whinypants, but it’s a very beautiful and well-written book, and it’s quite elegant in how it handles the various aspects of vampiric life.
- The Vampire Lestat: See above. This one should probably have been a total shark-jump, what with Lestat becoming a VAMPIRE ROCK STAR, but somehow it works. And the flashbacks to his past are really pretty fascinating, especially since he introduces some of the most important parts of the entire series: The Ones Who Must Be Kept.
- Queen of the Damned: Forget about the crap movie, this book is awesome. It is literally one of my favorite vampire books, all about when the long-dormant vampire queen Akasha awakens and begins a misandrist crusade using her awe-inspiring powers; there’s also a vampire-spawned human dynasty, ancient twins destined to destroy Akasha, and the origins of the vampire race. This is a fucking awesome novel, and easily the best thing Rice has ever written.
- Tale of the Body Thief: So of course, the next book just couldn’t measure up. This is all about how Lestat becomes all mopey and Louisy, and some random guy offers to switch bodies with him… and of course, he’s enough of a dumbass to take the offer. Of course, the guy steals his body, and most of the book is about Lestat finding out how much it sucks to be a mortal. Also having sex with nuns.
- Memnoch the Devil: Annnnddddd… we have shark jump. Basically it’s all about Lestat taking a tour of the universe with the Devil, talking about God and theology as only an amateur can.
- Pandora: I actually like this book, especially since Pandora is probably the only really satisfying female character Rice has ever written other than Gabrielle. She’s tough, competent, clever and cool, and even the book’s flaws can’t eclipse that.
- The Vampire Armand: to be read.
- Blood and Gold: see above.
- Vittorio the Vampire: see both above.
- The Mayfair Witch Trilogy: I’m not into incest, breastfeeding, pedophilia and demon sex, so I’m not interested in this trilogy at all. Pretty much all my reactions would probably be boggling at it and going “DA FUQ?!”
- The Christ the Lord books: If my snarks haven’t tipped you off, I’m not really interested in religious fiction. Also, any criticisms I can make of the plots will just piss people off.
- The same also goes for Songs of the Seraphim, which is a sort of supernatural thriller series with angels and time travel. It just didn’t seem to take off, and she seems to have forgotten about it.
- The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy: I don’t read porn.
- The Feast of All Saints, Cry to Heaven, Belinda, Exit to Eden: These novels are either not bad enough to spork, deal with pedophilia (ewwwwww) or handle S&M (which I honestly am not expert enough to snark on).
- Servant of the Bones: I actually want to snark this one, because it’s boring, pretentious and masturbates over Bill Clinton. But I honestly don’t know much about Jewish folklore, so I don’t think I could do it justice.