Dennis L. McKiernan

A band of tiny but strong halflings from an idyllic little land join up with a human king-in-waiting, an elf archer and a doughty axe-swinging dwarf who are trying to stop the Evil Dark Lord from taking over the world and enslaving or killing everybody. In a world whose name means “middle world.”

Yeah, I read it before. And it was a lot better when J.R.R. Tolkien wrote it.

Okay, backstory: Dennis McKiernan apparently began writing when he was in a bad motorcycle crash and was immobilized for some months, so he wrote a sequel to Lord of the Rings. Shockity-shock-shocks, you can’t actually publish a literal sequel because the Tolkien estate will shut you down so fast your head spins, so he changed the names and a few details…. and then wrote a prequel trilogy with the same basic plot but a few new details, like a sugary princess and a COMET OF DEATH. And no ring. Plus the bad guy is carved out of Cheez.

Anyway, he wrote some actual original stories after that, but whatever.

 

The Mithgar Series

 

  • The Dragonstone – Some incredibly tiny elf chick foresees that she has to get a bunch of cliched people/objects together or the world is going to end. Or maybe it will anyway. It’s all very confusing.
  • Hel’s Crucible Duology –No, that is not a typo.
    • Into the Forge – A halfling goes across the world with a tiny round object that may or may not be able to save the world. Wait, I’ve heard this one before. Also: elf perverts.
    • Into the Fire – Apparently war is long, boring, and repetitive. Also, the plague may break out at any random time.
  • The Eye of the Hunter
  • Tales of Mithgar
  • The Iron Tower Trilogy –Think Lord of the Rings, but whinier and weirder and with more crying.
  • The Silver Call Duology – Originally written as a sequel to Lord of the Rings,but when it was shot down by J.R.R. Tolkien’s estate, McKiernan turned it into a purely derivative work.

 

The Faerie Tale Books

 

  • Once Upon A Winter’s Night – A fairy tale adaptation, with some fairly explicit sex, a Purity Sue and much meanderings around in Faery.
  • Once Upon a Summer’s Day –
  • Once Upon an Autumn Eve –
  • Once Upon a Spring Morn –
  • Once Upon a Dreadful Time – Time for happily ever after! Or whatever!

 

 Other Stories

 

  • Caverns of Socrates – It’s got fantasy, but it’s actually sci-fi. Eh, just read it. It makes more sense. Think a not-very-good RPG game combined with the off-brand 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  • The Halfling House – A supposed tribute to Tolkien that isn’t anything of the kind, in which in a lot of tiny people go on an unsatisfying adventure through time and space.

What To Read Instead of Dennis McKiernan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s