Twilight – The Movie

… The Movie From Hell

First of all, I recommend that anyone who hasn’t seen the RiffTrax for this movie DO SO RIGHT AWAY.

Secondly, my hate for this movie is only surpassed by my hate for the original book. Having seen Robert Pattinson in other movies where he did quite well, I can only blame his boring-ass performance on the director and his apparent hate for the material. You would initially think that Kristen Stewart has the same excuse, except that she gives the same performance in every movie – if playing your own sniffy, hair-pawing constipated bland self could be considered acting, she would have an Oscar.

Anyway, I am both watching the movie and relating my viewpoints via a transcription of the script. Originally I was going to do it scene by scene, but I realized that would be ridiculously hard to read. So I’m going it by ten-minute increments.


  • Twilight – The Movie Deleted Scenes
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